I"m so sorry about what I said to you earlier when you
tried to force me not to go. I know you did what you did
only because you loved me. Also, I forgive you for
whatever you think you might have done
wrong. Anyway, I"ve decided to do this deed entirely of
my own choosing. Nobody has ordered me to do this. But
I do it anyway. And don"t get it wrong. I am not an
overly religious man. It is not because of Allah
that I do this. I definately don"t believe that I"m
going to live in eternal paradise in heaven for what
I do. You know me, I"m as secular as they come!
You know how much I indulged in western movies and
literature. But how can I stand by and do nothing
while the evil americans dirty our sacred land? What do
they take us for anyway? Do they take us to be complete
fools? Don"t they know we know that it is to steal Iraq"s
OIL that they invade our land! That is the reason why
I HAVE TO do this. Not because Allah told me to. Not
because Saddam told me to. But because I myself has made
the decision that it needs to be done! Please understand...
It"s not because I don"t want to live. How MUCH I DO want
to live! Before the war, you wanted to run away with me to
Jordan. You don"t know how close I came to going away with
you. How much I wish I could live and be with you! But it
must often be so, my dear, when things are in danger,
some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may
keep them. All that I had and might have had, all my hopes
and my dreams I leave to you. Don"t be too sad... You
cannot always grieve my death. If I succeed in my attempt,
they will give you enough money to live affluently. Even
if the government falls, those who sympathize for what I did
will continue to care for you. It is with assurance of this
fact that I do this. You have so much to enjoy
and to be and to do... I really love you, dear wife.
You"re still young. And I REALLY want you to meet
somebody else and be happy. You"re too young to
live as a widow for the rest of your life. Besides, I
don"t want my sons to grow up without a good father.
Do it for me... That is my last request. Well, I have to go now...
Good-bye!
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